My Take on Coffee Dates (Why I’ve Never Had One and Don’t Plan To)

Introduction: The Coffee Date Craze

Coffee dates are everywhere—dating apps, advice columns, and first-date “rules.” They’re pitched as safe, affordable, and easy. But here’s my truth: I’ve never had a coffee date. Not once. Not because I didn’t get the chance, but because I’ve never seen the appeal.

Why I Avoid Coffee Dates

Here’s why I’ve chosen not to do them:

1. They feel generic. I want my dates to feel like an experience, not a default setting.

2. Zero spark factor. Coffee shops don’t feel romantic; they feel routine.

3. Time-boxed. Coffee is quick—too quick to explore real chemistry.

4. Interview vibes. Sitting across a small table feels stiff instead of fun.

Observing From the Outside

I’ve watched friends go on countless coffee dates. Their feedback? Some say it’s convenient. Others say it’s boring. A few never go past the first cup. That confirmed my choice: I’d rather plan something a little more intentional.

What I Do Instead

If I want to keep things low-key but still engaging, I go for:

Walk-and-talk dates – More natural flow, less pressure.

Food truck hangouts – Same casual energy, but tastier.

Arcade or mini-golf – Built-in fun without forcing conversation.

Local bookstore or record shop – Instant conversation starters.

These still have the “casual” advantage of coffee dates, but with way more energy.

Why People Like Coffee Dates (And Why It’s Not For Me)

I get the appeal: they’re safe, cheap, and easy to exit. But that’s exactly why I skip them. A first date should feel like a spark, not a checklist.

Final Thoughts

I may never go on a coffee date, and I’m okay with that. I’d rather start with a memory worth keeping than a latte I’ll forget by tomorrow.